Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
