Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i love accidental penises.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
