In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
