i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
