Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
