u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
