The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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