I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
