Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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