I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
