I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
