I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
