I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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