She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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