so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
