my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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