Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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