no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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