It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
