By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
