Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize