he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
