Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
