i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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