we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My pussy is not your playground.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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