i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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