we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
