Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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