I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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