What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
