I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
