I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize