I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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