Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
