ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
