I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
