i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
