his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize