How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize