Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
