so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
