I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
