Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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