Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
