Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
