the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
