dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize