He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
