So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
