2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
