Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
