doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
