i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
