Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
