Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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