I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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