I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
