Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize