good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
