So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
