loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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