Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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