i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
