Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am spending my child support on dildos
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
