Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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