can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize