My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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