i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
