i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
