just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize