so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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