Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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