Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is Oprah even human
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
