Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
