Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
FUCK WHALES
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
