Buhtt sex?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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