mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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