I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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