So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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