I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
