I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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